Well, Doggie

Now this is the kind of campaign promise we need.

I heard Barack Obama’s interview with his wife and daughters the other day. It was revealed that Obama has made the promise that when the election is over, win or lose, the reward will be a dog.

Now, I wasn’t quite sure if that’s a promise of a dog for all of us or to just his kids. I’ll have to look into that because I don’t want to miss out. I’m still steamed because I didn’t get my free taco that Jacoby Ellsbury won for me with a stolen base in the World Series.

Anyway, if a presidential candidate is dangling the possibility of a dog as a campaign promise, he’s likely going to get my vote.

Sure, health care would be nice. Lower gas prices would be helpful. World peace, well that’s not going to happen. Racial harmony, dream on. A vibrant economy would be good, but that won’t entice my cheap employers to throw me anymore coin. So, I know the one way a candidate can truly come through for me is to get me a dog.

I’ll even make up signs. I’m "Barking for Barack". Or "I’m voting for John McCainine".

Obama's already on the record about the dog. I’m waiting for McCain to up the ante. Maybe he can provide me the exact kind of dog I want. It has to either be a German shepherd, that I will name Schultz (as in Sergeant Schultz - I know nothing) or a golden lab or retriever, that I will name Jethro (as in Bodine).

If McCain can make that promise, I might be tempted to sell my soul and actually vote for the Grand OLD Party. But, I’m not counting my dog biscuits quite yet.

Of course, there’s more to the promise than just getting a dog. If I wanted a dog, I'd just go out and buy one. It’s more complicated than that.

I’d need a new job. My work schedule and travels just aren’t conducive to caring for a pooch. Though a German Shepherd would come in handy at a soccer game when some crazed mother wants to complain about why I didn't mention little Susie's name enough times. They'd have to talk to Schultz.

I’d also need a new place to live. I can’t have pets where I’m at now. I’d need more money. Rover’s got to eat, and Squiggy’s got to bring home the Alpo. There’s the added responsibility. The only creature I’ve had to care for and be responsible for is me - and those results are certainly mixed.

So, if a candidate will promise me a dog and assure me of all the other conditions, they’ll get my vote. Let the debate begin.

And, by the way, if you’re running for the Senate, you better be promising me some flea powder.