Super Party

Escargot, blue mohawks and a dude called Poopie.

Now that's a Super Bowl party.

With the game that nobody I know cares about this coming Sunday, it got me thinking about Super Bowl parties and some of the ones I've ventured to.

I'm not exactly a Super Bowl Party type. I like the game, the food and the "beverages" but not the crowd of bandwagon jumpers who are there just because a party is going down. It is a night that teases the socialite in me but turns off the loner gene that I possess.

I usually actually want to watch the game - and sometimes yell at the TV and throws things (like last year, but we don't talk about that game any longer). Sometimes a large crowd of partiers gets in the way of that.

It's kind of like the time a group of friends all gathered to watch the NCAA basketball Final Four one Saturday evening. We began watching the games and eating dinner at a local bar. The next thing we now we're crowding 11 people in van, cruising the back roads of Maine to go bar hopping. I remember nothing about the basketball games, but unfortunately, can't wipe away the vision of the Pimp Daddy mooning everybody. It was certainly a memorable and fun evening, but not because of the basketball.

So, most Super Bowls I've watched have remained low key. I've either watched them at home or watched them with a few friends and family. Since my niece's birthday is often right around Super Bowl Sunday, we often got together for both occasions. She didn't really like sharing her birthday party. So, we just moved her birthday from January to early November. Problem solved.

The most interesting Super Bowl party was the one mentioned above. I wasn't really even invited to it. The Patriots were playing the Eagles that night, and rather than give me the night off to enjoy the game, the SJ thought it might be a good idea to make me work. I was assigned Super Bowl party duty. Since I struck out finding somebody I knew that was holding a party to attend, write about and watch the game, I had others set up potential places to go.

I started with a guy holding an outdoor grilling party. He was tearing down the back of his house to rebuild for his mother. He had a batch of friends over to grill all kinds of food - including escargot. It provided me the great opportunity to refer to the T.O. Has B.O. T-shirts and dump on Payton Manning in the story.

After spending a little time there, I went over to a house of guys where they were giving themselves blue mohawks. One of the guys was nicknamed Poopie. He later left the party in a snit over the betting rules. I was able to watch most of the game there, but rushed back to the office in the second half to start writing. I finished my story while monitoring the game in the office. I finished it enough to catch the end of the Patriots win. Here's a link to the story http://www.sunjournal.com/story/101569-3/Sports/Patriotic_parties/

Of course, with my task for the evening done, I just sat around watched the game and made a nuisance of myself (one of my strengths). While the editors were trying to decide on a headline that would look good on a poster they were doing of the front page, I suggested "Threesome". For some reason, they chose not to use it.

Most of the gatherings I attended in college were pretty low key. The one I remember most was me and my roommate ordering pizza just before the game. We chowed down and then both fell asleep in the first quarter. We didn't miss much because the Dolphins got trounced. I did watch the Chicago-New England Super Bowl with a bunch of Bears fans, now that was fun.

When Scott Norwood missed his infamous field goal that cost the Bills a win, I was at a gathering in a Boston suburb. I don't even recall who was there that I actually knew. It was a party that my sister set me up with.

One memorable one, of course, was the Patriots first Super Bowl win. Thanks to the Portland Pirates, I had to cover one of their games that day in the afternoon. I didn't have time to get my story and go anywhere else after. Instead, I rushed out to Gorham to watch the game with my Dad. I still remember watching the game-wining field goal and thinking "They actually did it." It was cool to spend that evening and share that moment with my father.

As I write this I realize, as much as I like the game and the strategies of it, what has made the past Super Bowl parties memorable haven't been the game. I barely recall most of the games, except the Patriots games (with one exception that we no longer discuss). What I remember are the people, the setting and the fun we had.

Now I'm kind of in the mood for a Super Bowl party. I wonder how many football fans we can squeeze into a van?

Bye George

See ya. Wouldn't want to be ya!

The Bush era, I mean the Bush error, is over. Good riddance.

I've spent the last few hours watching the final moments of his dictatorship, even though he hasn't dictated anything in about six months. I've revelled in watching him leave power in disgrace and ridicule.

The ego-maniac, self-serving, religious zealot, war mongering dictator I won't miss at all. The bumbling, moronic dufus will be sorely missed.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching Bush's final moments and was nearly brought to tears and/or jumping up and down (or flashing an obscene gesture at the TV) as Bush boarded the helicopter and flew away.

But I will miss ole jug-ears in a way. Watching David Letterman won't be the same with his "Great Moments in Presidential Speeches", playing clips of Bush and ridiculing him with his own words. Fortunately, the Late Show has a clip of a sneezing monkey to replace the speeches of a bumbling jackass.

I'll miss the mockery that Will Ferrell made of him on Saturday Night Live. I'll miss the jokes from Jay Leno or John Stewart. Fortunately, but also unfortunately, we won't have GW to kick around any more.

As much as I'd like to see Bush prosecuted, tarred and feathered or even waterboarded, I know he'll likely get away scot free and won't learn the meaning of accountability. So the only justice we get is to watch Bush leave office in shame and disgrace. And I've enjoyed every moment of it.

The jokes and ridicule he has endured by comedians has been great. He'll go down in history not only as incompetent but also a laughing stock. His stuttering, mumbling and bumbling define his policies and his cowboy legacy.

It has been a joy to watch him squirm the last few months. He'd been rendered a lame-duck and useless national figure. Even when he tried to bolster his own record and rewrite his own legacy, he came off as an idiot and wasn't taken seriously. The White House web site has already replaced Bush with photos of Obama, and the word "Failure" in the dictionary has already been updated with Bush's likeness.

It all couldn't have happened to a better guy. I took great pleasure in watching today's ceremonies, knowing full well how bad it made Bush look. He was booed by the crowd and given the "Hey, Hey Goodbye" treatment. Classic. I could barely contain myself when Dick Cheney was wheeled out in a wheelchair. He looked just like the evil banker in "It's a Wonderful Life" I thought for sure he was going to say "I'm going to ruin you George Bailey." Of course, Bush and Cheney likely would have ruined that savings and loan also.

How sweet was it to have Bush sitting there during Obama's speech and making him listen to the new President's indictment of the last eight years. He was forced to watch millions celebrate his removal.

Today's ceremonies were about renewal, change and restoring hope. In a matter of hours, the country took out the trash and kicked it to the curb. The nation now starts anew.

I only hope I don't have to see George Bush ever again - unless, of course, it is while he's on trial.

Super Bore

The Super Bowl pairing has been set. We're now in for two exciting weeks of mindless hype about the Pittsburgh Steelers and Arizona Cardinals. Yikes.

I'm not sure what is worse, that this is what we have left of football season or that football season really is over and now I'm left to watching the Bruins and the Celtics. Or wondering when Jason Varitek will come crawling back to the Red Sox. What's really scary and I concluded yesterday that at least I've got the Daytona 500 to watch in a few weeks. If the only sport I've got left is are the Turn Lefties, I've got troubles.

Too bad they can't play the Super Bowl game tomorrow and get it over with. I can't stand the Steelers and I don't give a hoot about the Cardinals. I'm now left to root for a team that got its ass handed to them in the snow at Foxborough a few weeks ago. To think that hapless team could actually beat the Steelers, I have my doubts. So I have no interest in the Super Bowl. I just might take a hiatus and move to one of those counties that has never tried a Whopper. Maybe they don't get the Super Bowl either.

Now my opinion might be a bit skewed because I'm still in mourning over last year's Super Bowl. Any time the talk turns to last year's game, I change the channel and walk away from the conversation. Don't want to talk about it. Don't want to hear about it. It used to be the same with the 1978 Red Sox or the infamous Game 6 of the World Series. Those, however, don't quite sting anymore. Funny how two World Series championships alters your perspective.

Now this football season has been pretty much a lost cause from the beginning. When Tom Brady went down with a knee injury, I knew the Patriots chances of a Super Bowl title were gone. It was questionable to begin with because of the Pats defense, which only got worse, and more injured, as the year went on.

I followed the Patriots season with mild interest. I didn't want to get too excited with their wins or too aggravated with their losses. I maintained a mild curiosity of the NFL all season even though all the teams I can't stand appeared to be the front runners.

My interest got peaked as the playoff chase narrowed and the Patriots were in contention. Even though New England got squeezed out, I enjoyed watching the Jets and Cowboys fall apart.

Then as the playoffs continued I was thrilled to see Goober and Gomer Manning get heaved out of the mix. All of a sudden, the only team I couldn't stand that was left was Pittsburgh.

My hope was that Baltimore would take care of business, but rookie Joe Flacco turned into Joe Flunko and the Steelers are the favorites in two weeks.

I probably wouldn't be anymore excited if it were the Ravens and the Cardinals. My slight hope is the fact that I've been able to watch the teams I can't stomach go belly up. So maybe the Cardinals will give me one more thrill by stomping on the Steelers hopes. I wouldn't bet on it. I think the Steelers defense will eat Kurt Warner alive and give the Cardinals a good old beating. The Steelers will do to the Cardinals what the Patriots did to Warner and the Rams years ago. They're going to put a bigger hurt on Arizona than Obama did McCain.

So, that leaves me with no interest in hearing all the hype of the next two weeks. I'm not really interested in the game. The Super Bowl tends to annoy me anyway since it is another one of those events where every yahoo comes out of the woodwork and pretends they're a football fan for a day. They're more interested in the stupid commercials and the partying than the game itself. It would be like me showing up and acting all giddy for the finals of American Idol. And, it would be a cold day in hell when that happens.

So, Super Bowl Sunday, I'm thinking my schedule is free. No commitments. No games to watch. Do they still run the Andy Griffith Marathon on Super Bowl Sunday? Maybe I'll give Tom Brady and Giselle and call and see what their doing.

The Final Countdown On Crazy Train

If I hear that blasted Europe song one more time, I'm going to hurl. That one-hit wonder from the 80's needs its own final countdown.


If another basketball team storms out to the sounds of Ozzy Osbourne, I'll be going off the rails of a crazy train.


In my profession, I hear warm-up music every night. Quite often it is the same batch of tiresome tunes. Most of them are songs I never liked to begin with, but now, I really can't stand them. Yet, I hear them over and over again.


It makes me want to stand in front of a speaker at a Disturbed show so my hearing will suffer, and I won't have to listen to the current crap I endure each night. Maybe I'll just start using the earplugs I bought when I did a car racing story from Kyle Busch's pit crew. But, those just dull the noise, not eliminate it.


One thing I know a little bit about is music. Okay, I think I know a little bit about everything (but I do, so live with it). I think I have some credibility when it comes to the songs I hear basketball teams play. And, in my professional opinion the current choice of music is tiresome, stale and just plain sucks.


So, I'm thinking I should hire myself out as a professional music consultant. You want a warm-up mix tape that rocks? I'm your music man.


I've even got proof that my way works. This summer my brother and I both painted our respective decks at our summer places on the coast. I had Metallica blasting through the boom box, along with a little REM's "Accelerator." My brother chose to paint his deck with doo-op music. When I went down to help him and heard his tunes of choice, I wanted to do shots of paint thinner. Well, want to guess whose deck got rained on by Mother Nature? Not mine. Mother Nature obviously likes Metallica.


Now I know music is a matter of personal tastes. I just put together a mix CD that is pretty killer. Yes, it makes Squiggy get quite jiggy. It opens with the Dropkick Murphy's followed by Eve 6, Pearl Jam, Disturbed, Buckcherry, Ronnie James Dio, the Killers, Evanescence, Foo Fighters, Fuel, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, AFI, the Exies and Puddle of Mudd (got to like a song that gets me singing "Maybe I'm the one that's just a little bit psycho" all day long) and then a little more Disturbed and Dropkick Murphy's.


If I don't feel like cranking up that disc, I've got the old standby's like Social Distortion, Metallica or the Crue's "Kickstart My Heart", which if I play while I'm on the treadmill, there's a good chance someone actually might have to kickstart my heart.


But, I doubt those tunes would please the guy that shows up at the workout room at work and likes to play tunes from the Country Music Television.


Now I'll admit my musical tastes have been criticized for decades now. My father always hoped that when I went off to college I'd take Music Appreciation class and actually develop a good taste in tunes. He said that's what happened to my brother. Look where it got him. He's painting to doo-op music - and facing Mother's Natures wrath for it.


I did take the Music Appreciation class. The only thing I recall is that I did take the class, but that is it. For someone who remembers just about everything, that must be a telling sign if I have no recollection of the class.


So, unfortunately for those tender-eared people out there, I still tend to listen to some pretty obnoxious stuff. When I'm in a good mood, it usually means I'm cranking the Smithereens or Social Distortion. Nothing like loving life while grooving to "In this world of pain I have no peer" or feel good songs like "Mommie's Little Monster" or "When the Angels Sing."


Now, I should mention that I do have some quality tastes in music. Out of the 500 or so CD's, I have some pretty good stuff and a wide variety, including my favorites like Richard Shindell, the Bodeans, John Wetton, Buddy Miller, the Levellers, Peter Gabriel etc. But, none of those are great warm-up songs.


But, I'd be psyched to hear a basketball team come out to the Bodeans "Closer To Free" (heck, I've heard it played in the grocery store) or the Levellers' "One Way" or a good Gabriel tune, but that's unlikely to happen. Besides, there are better choices, and it just takes a bit a creativity and a sense of humor. And I got both!


A team like the Cougars could come storming out to Ted Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever". A team called the Ramblers could use Led Zep's "Ramble On". Even a local team called the Red Eddies (I have no idea why) could use Sammy Hagar's "Red". A winless team could use The Killers' "Mr. Brightside" as their theme song. Now, that would be funny. There's got to be something good for a team like the Blue Devils. Just about any Ronnie James Dio song mentions devils. Better yet, go with the Cult's "Lil Devil". If a team thinks their coach is a complete nimrod, they could go with Disturbed's cover of "Land of Confusion." If a team wants to display some attitude, go with the Crue's Wild Side. And, nobody could go wrong with the Cult. Pick "Rain", "She Sells Sanctuary" or "Love Removal Machine."


Speaking of the Cult, have you seen my head on YouTube? Check out the Cult video from Hampton Beach. That's my melon around the 20 second mark or so. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMTc7v9Bprw


If team's want to go with the AC DC, put away "You Shook Me" and go with "For Those About To Rock" (you can't go wrong with a song with cannons in it) or the new song "Rock and Roll Train". Since I'm usually at girls' basketball games, the Smithereens "A Girl Like You" would be pretty cool. I could even sing along since I know all the words.


Now, I know teams pick music they like to groove to and their particular tastes dictate what junk they stick in the CD player. They're not too concerned with appeasing the musical tastes of the people in the stands.


But, keep in mind, if the Poison Pen shows up at your gym, ready to write something about your team, wouldn't you want to keep him happy by playing tunes he likes? I'm not threatening or anything, but do you really want to test my patience with a few minutes of "The Final Countdown" or "Crazy Train"?

So, next time a team puts together a new set list for warm-ups, they might be wise to pick a selection from the Squiggy Soundtrack. Remember, a happy Poison Pen is far better than the alternative. Just let it be known that you've been warned.