Just Thinking

I swear either Michael Caine or Morgan Freeman are like in every other movie I see.

When I go from one place that doesn't have TV to another place that does, it makes me realize just how debilitating television is.

I find the whole thing about Homecoming floats really stupid. Does anybody really care if high school kids decorate the back of a truck to display in front of half-interested football fans at halftime? I'm not even sure the kids building the floats care.

And I hate Homecoming floats even more when the school extends the halftime break just for the festivities.

It cracks me up when soccer coaches scream at officials to blow their whistle. So when they do, instead of allowing for a play-on opportunity, the coaches gripe at that. Well, which do you want?

Apparently "All men are created equal" excludes innocent Muslims and patriotic gay people. I wonder if that was Thomas Jefferson's intent?

Taking a long hard look at the steps that you've traveled in your life gives one a pretty good perspective on how to get where one is going.

New York Jets wide receiver was pulled over for drunk driving last week. His team professed disappointment in his actions. So much so that they let him play on Sunday in a crucial game against Miami. I'm glad the Jets believe in holding people accountable and standing up for what is right - unless an important football game gets in the way.

For people whose job it is to pronounce people's names (news anchors, public address announcers) is it really that hard to find out how to say somebody's name before one proceeds to butcher it?

Now that Roger Clemens has been indicted for "misremebering" when he testified before Congress, what happens to the panel members that fawned all over him and kissed his ass that day?

Kevin Scott, an independent candidate for governor in Maine, says that his extensive list of driving infractions, around 35, shows that he's human. It also shows he is undisciplined, out of control and not much of a leader of men. And we don't need people like that running for governor - especially when we already have Paul LePage fulfilling that niche.

Tony Dungy has called out Rex Ryan for his profanity on the HBO show Hardknocks. But it is Dungy who ends up being painted as too pious while the foul-mouthed buffoonery of Ryan is laughed off. Profanity has become so common place in this society that people would rather curse up a storm than act and speak with a little more class and intelligence, even in front of their kids. I think that's pretty @$%^^& sad and really $$%%% up.

I think it is funny that I keep hearing these ads for Roger Waters' appearance at the Garden in Boston and every time, I can hear them playing the song Comfortably Numb over the ad. Of course, it was David Gilmour that sang that song for Pink Floyd and not Roger Waters.

The final combat troops have pulled out of Iraq after cleaning up George W. Bush's mess for seven years. With the government there in turmoil, I'd be tempted to suggest we send them the Cowboy Warmonger himself but that would just be cruel and unusual punishment for innocent people. I don't think we should wish him on anybody - unless it was before a tribunal for war crimes.

Speaking of which, it amazes me that the people that are jumping on the anti-Obama bandwagon were the same ones that stood by quietly while W wreaked havoc on this country and the world around us. So, obviously, they're not upset about the actions of the president, just his affiliation or maybe his race. It's just sad. Stand up for what is wrong because it is wrong. Don't defend it or ignore it just because of party affiliation.

I just wish people would work harder at finding solutions than they do in assigning blame.

More Randomness

While I was on vacation, I didn't watch TV for three weeks and didn't miss it one bit.

While on vacation I got an email from a softball coach griping about how the Miss Maine Softball award was chosen. I think this coach's complaints would have a little more credibility if he wasn't sore about his daughter not winning the award. And, had this guy been so concerned about the selection process, don't you think he'd do or say something before a well-deserving player was picked over his daughter?

Did you see the guy that ducked away from the foul ball just in time to let it hit his girlfriend? I thought the fact that the nitwit was wearing his hat on sideways like he was stylin' would have been enough for the girl to dump his sorry punk ass already. But apparently an act of cowardice at the sight of a foul ball did the trick.

Car dealers/peddlers just make me feel icky.

Speaking of which, are there any bigger morons in the world of commercials than car salesmen?

Just for those keeping track, during my vacation I saw: deer, an eagle, seals porpoises, osprey, various ducks and sea birds and a mountain lion.

Just for those keeping track, during my vacation I read six books, including two that I wrote, and wrote a good chunk of my next novel. I even managed to have future chapters evolve in my head that are now just waiting to come out.

I discovered that just because the beer is imported and cost nine or ten dollars doesn't necessarily make it all that good.

It just melts a guys heart when a little girl tells him that she loves him and gives him a kiss on the cheek. Of course, it's not so bad when her mother does the same thing.

Wonders why it is so hard for people to return a phone call or respond to an email out of courtesy.

This whole Corey Pavin-Jim Gray thing has gone from amusing to annoying. Golfer claims he's misquoted, reporter confronts golfer, golfer claims reporter poked him and said "You're going down". If things got any more out of control, they just might have broken into a full-fledged slap fight.

By the way, I have never, ever, misquoted somebody.

And, Jim Gray, you should ask LeBron James to buy you a digital recorder. They're great for recording interviews and covering your ass.

Speaking of James, he's making a list and checking it twice of all the people that have hurt poor little LeBron's feelings. And, I assume, he's going to have a prime time special on ESPN and read them all.

I really get tired of people emailing me propaganda that basically states that people in this country should only be allowed to speak English. Let those of you not the product of immigrants throw that first stone. I think all those gripers should just be miraculously plucked from their daily lives and transported to some foreign country where they don't speak the language. We'll see how sympathetic they are then. Como esta usted?

I saw the brawl between the Cardinals and Reds, if you can call it a brawl. Baseball players really need to learn how to fight. They spend more time pushing, shoving and flailing than actually fighting. At least somebody managed to kick somebody - even if it did make him look more like a rockette than an athlete.

I swear it can't be too hard to be a weatherman.

I missed my chance to go to Oz when a tornado ripped through my hometown and I wasn't there.

I wish I could file a protection order against people that annoy me.

I wonder if the police scanner was as amusing to listen to 20 years ago.

I love how the littlest of things can spark a wonderful memory from your childhood.

Last I knew this country was founded on a search for religious freedom and escaping from religious persecution. So, it is rather interesting that the my-country-right-or-wrong crowd, the flag-waving religious zealots are the ones barking the loudest about the Muslim mosque in New York. Granted, I understand the controversy strikes a chord and is a sensitive issue, but the place is supposedly being built on private property and not on the "Hallowed Ground" of Ground Zero as many of the radical protesters indicate. Their opposition often borders on racism and seems more about politics than honoring the people and sight of the 9/11 attacks.

And Sarah Palin, just shut it will you? If the country cared what you had to say, you'd have been elected.

I get great amusement watching the local TV news when they offer up any old talking head to do the sports news. Between the butchering of names and knowing little about the sports they're reporting on, they're trying to fake it while oblivious to the fact that the sports audience will spot a fraud in a second.

Random Randomness

Just thought I’d start posting random thoughts about random items that happen each week.








When BP is finished with sealing the oil leak, I’d like them to cork the gusher that I consider the mouth of Rush Limbaugh.

Jesse Jackson spouted off about Cleveland Cavalier’s owner Dan Gilbert and likened him to being a slave master. Correct me if I’m wrong, did anybody ask for Jesse Jackson’s opinion? I didn’t think so.

George H. W. Bush gets lost in the fog and grounded his boat on the beach. Kind of sounds like his presidency.

I don’t know what was worse with the whole LeBron James prime time special – watching James inflated ego at work or watching ESPN sacrifice its journalistic integrity.

Hey LeBron, Abe Lincoln called. He said he wants his beard back.

I like watching the Deadliest Catch, but I’m sick of Mike Rowe.

LA Laker Pau Gasol obviously must have been a soccer player at one time. A player that dives and flops as much as him must have learned that feat on the soccer pitch.

Speaking of soccer, if the recent World Cup didn’t generate enough interest in the United States then nothing is. The World Cup displayed the game at its best, but the majority of Americans could have cared less. So, let’s end any discussion of the sport increasing in popularity in the states. It’s not going to happen.

I can’t wait for the vuvuzela Christmas CD.

Mike Tyson has concluded that he has wasted his entire life and has accomplished very little as a human being. I guess that makes it unanimous.

Why can’t we reduce our dependency on oil by using the hot air of our politicians as our primary energy source?

Last week there were protesters in Maine to march against the development of wind turbines on a mountain range upstate. One of the protesters, from out of state, chained herself to the construction equipment. They should have carted her carcass to the New Hampshire border and told her to get out, stay out and mind her own damn business.

I’ve got some vacation time coming up next week. I’m thinking life would be better if we had vacation time for most of the year and then would work for just four or five weeks.

Speaking of vacation time, I'll get paid during those weeks but wonder if I could make a case for getting paid double for the time I stay away from the office?

I don’t know if it is sadder statement about our news agencies or about society itself that the major news stories in recent days are about Bristol Palin and Lindsay Lohan.

The whole loading up of free agents by the Miami Heat makes me think I’d root for the Lakers if those two teams meet in the NBA Finals and that makes me really feel disgusting.

While rummaging through old letters and photos the other day, I found a note that stated I was to report to the college dean’s office at a certain time. Hmm. Wonder what kind of trouble that was about?

I see there’s a remake of Hawaii Five-O hitting the networks soon. Once again, Hollywood proves it is completely out of ideas and has to resort to rehashing has-been shows.

Wish somebody would tell ESPN's Chris Berman that his shtick is getting tiresome. He's not funny, his "Back Back Back" or "Way Back" and all his stupid nicknames are getting old. And, he's not much of a journalist any longer, assuming he ever was one.

And it is people like Berman that make media types more interested in trying to be entertainers or celebrities rather than journalists.

Wonders why our forefathers didn't create laws to outlaw stupidity?

I had a press conference at Mall Plaza in South Portland today. That's where I worked in high school when Shaws was there. Bet I still could wheel 14 or 15 shopping carts through those doors.

Spellbound

At first, I thought it was just a typo. A soccer coach, in a hurry, rushing to provide me information on his team, had hit the wrong key. Even if he had written "scedual" instead of schedule, it had to be a mistake.
Or was it? The coach went on to continually discuss his team's challenging "scedual" and convinced me not only that his team was in for a tough season but that also their coach can't spell.
What a fine product of his school department, I thought.
Frankly, it really isn't surprising. What I see done to the English language on a daily basis is usually shocking, if not appalling. Either people never learned how to spell, are too lazy to do it properly or just don't care. Whatever the case, they don't look too smart in the process. And it seems as though it bothers only me.
Now, as a disclaimer, I should state that I may be particularly over-sensitive to this issue. I'm a writer. Part of my job is to spell things correctly. Most of the time, I actually do - or at least come close. Therefore, I'm also fairly trained to find spelling errors and poor grammar. So, on most occasions, if you spell something wrong, I'm going to notice. Sorry. It's an occupational hazard.
Now I certainly understand that people are going to have typos. We all do. And not everyone spends the kind of time at a keyboard that I do. Therefore, most people aren't as proficient at typing as somebody in my line of work.
Still, some of the spelling and grammatical mistakes I see go way beyond hitting the wrong keys.
Between reading message boards online or perusing Facebook, the mistakes I find just make my jaw drop. I saw a post the other day by a Facebook friend that had seven words spelled wrong. I saw another one just posted this evening that had three in a span of five words wrong.
What really gets me is that quite often, I see posts like these that are posted by teachers. Coaches and parents don't do much better.
We got an email the other day from a school athletic director informing us of a bit of news. I don't think he actually spelled any words wrong, for a change, but his sentence structure and grammar was pretty abysmal.
First, it makes me wonder who taught these people their grammar. Then I wonder how much worse is this problem going to get when one generation passes along such apathy to its children.
I'd be mortified if I posted something publicly or sent an email that was filled with such errors. I'd be embarrassed and very unhappy that I was representing myself in such a way. I'm not an illiterate nitwit, and I'd prefer not to give people reason to think I am.
Yet, it seems much of the world is either too lazy or could care less that they are displaying such a lack of basic grammar skills. If I am a college graduate and a professional, which I am, I'd prefer my actions and public communications be on par with my education level instead of giving the impression that I flunked out of the sixth grade and never went back.
I think in this world where we communicate in clipped words and phrases and via texts and emails this was bound to happen. We're in an age of instant gratification. People spout off opinions and post them for the world to see at a moment's notice. They say what they want without regard to how they see it or how bad their oral or written skills are. In the cyber world, such skills don't matter any longer. Heck, sometimes their opinions are as hollow and their arguments are as flawed as their spelling, but it makes no difference. It is freedom of speech run amok.
That's too bad. The erosion of such skills is sad but what is worse is that people no longer care that they represent themselves in such a way. When people are too lazy or too apathetic to strive to be their best, it is a sorry world we have created for ourselves.
I used to look at all the crazy spellings of names that I see and roll my eyes at the parent's who, in an effort to be different or creative, came up with the unique name. Now I just wonder if it wasn't a case of being creative but a lack of spelling skills.
But, at least I know, that if I spell any of those names wrong in the paper, they'll care and I'll probably hear about it.

Deeply Rooted

Contrary to some beliefs, I wasn’t dropped off on earth by aliens and I didn’t spring up from an organic-gone-wrong cabbage patch.
I actually have roots somewhere and rose up from a culture that helped shape me from its own image.
I was thinking about all that the other night when I was at the Auburn-Lewiston Sports Hall of Fame banquet. Local athletes were recognized, and they all acknowledged the environment that helped their development.
It got me thinking of the people around me that helped make me who I am. I began thinking that if I were inducted into a similar hall of fame in my hometown, who would I credit - or blame - for who I’ve become?
Now there is no such kind of recognition for esteemed products of Gorham, Maine, as far as I know. And my athletic career certainly wasn’t worthy of any kind of recognition. And that is probably the case for must all of us, but it certainly isn’t a bad exercise to think about and acknowledge just who the movers and shapers of our lives have been.
I obviously would have to start with my parents. I was the fourth child - obviously saving the best for last. My parents had distinct expectations for me but also weren’t strict. They gave me the freedom to be who I am and figure out what I wanted to be. I probably had the independent streak in me anyway, but they allowed me the space to learn my lessons and chart my own course - sometimes by doing things the hard/stupid way.
I had three older siblings and following them had a distinct effect on me - especially since I not only went to the same local school system as them all but also the same college. As a young kid, I’d try to be like my older brother, playing sports like he did. When I went to college, I was interested in working for the college paper, something he did at that school a decade before me.
My teachers had a significant role. Many of the things I do today can still be linked to certain teachers.
My interest in story telling was encouraged and nurtured by my first grade teacher Mrs. Briggs. I started writing stories and books as far back as then. Many of her insights presented in progress reports are still true today - such as that I do very well with things that I’m interested in (like consume all knowledge of such things) and that my desk could be a little neater but that I’m not concerned with such “mundane things”. And there was also the thing about liking to make the girls giggle. Still true.
One of our teacher’s aides, Mrs. Miner, suggested in sixth grade that I learn to type as soon as I could. That was after years of showing no potential in the penmanship department. As it turned out, I was a typing prodigy. I always say that when somebody asks “How fast do you type? that I respond by asking “How fast do I have to type?”
My mom was my first music teacher. She forced me to take piano lessons from her. In an effort to avoid that, I joined the band in junior high and learned to play the saxophone. I later also learned to play the bass guitar and the guitar from Mr. Mathieu, the high school band teacher. I had great experiences in the band and stage band in high school, and it fostered a great love and appreciation for not only listening to music but playing it. I can’t imagine life without it.
There were other teachers that were just great people that I enjoyed knowing and learning from. Mrs. Roy, Mrs. McKeil, Mrs. Thompson, Mrs. Chase, Mr. Evans are just a few that were integral parts of my upbringing. Whether it be Spanish, history or government, they all taught me their subjects well (even if my Spanish doesn’t do El Roy justice). They also were wonderful role models, mentors and friends that I enjoy keeping in touch with and continue to admire.
There were coaches that I had. Mr. Fish was the best. He gave me confidence as a young basketball player and showed interest in me as a player and as a person.
There were family friends. I didn’t know either of my grandmothers. But I had Mrs. Cushing and Mrs. Shaw. They were wonderful little old ladies in our local church. They showered me with attention and kindness. They were my surrogate grandmothers and were wonderful to me.
There were pastors. My father was a minister, but he wasn't serving a church when I was a kid. I had Pastor Bray, who was a great man of God with great dignity and integrity. He's always been the eptimoe of a minister to me.
I could probably go on and on. There are so many people, either from family, church, school, work or the community, that played some kind of role in my life.
In some aspects, much of my life is built around things of my own doing. I became the person because of decisions and paths that I chose. But positive influences through my life that encouraged, nurtured, guided and supported me not only steered me in the right direction but provided role models, expectations and lessons that helped me make the decisions and want to be who I became.
In this every-man-for-himself world where so many people are so self-absorbed and ego-driven, it is easy to forget where we came from and who helped get us where we are. I did my part to be the person I am, good and bad. But I didn’t do it alone. My life is deeply rooted in great people, great values and great expectations. I’m a product of a wonderful environment and a memorable community of people that served me well.
Now, if Gorham would just create a Hall of Fame and give me a call, I’ve got my speech already written - and typed.

Keag Party

It didn't help that I was already hungry.
My fridge in The Cave is a bit sparse these days with the back-and-forth to the coast. Rather than restock for just a day or so, I was living off English Muffins until errands took me to further options around LA.


And then the menu from the Keag Store came across my Facebook page.
The Keag - pronounced Gig and if you don't pronounce it that way, you'll be immediately and forever looked upon as a person from away - is a small market, village store in beautiful downtown South Thomaston. It sits on the corner of Route 73, and if you pay too much attention to traffic or the public landing and waterfront before you, you might even miss it.
There are stores just like it all over Maine. You might drive right by it. You might never have heard about it, and you have no idea what you're missing. But the locals know. It's a small local establishment that has the stock items one might need late at night but also has a pretty good niche for area consumers looking for good local food. I've had their pizza for years and often told everyone that the best lobster rolls I've ever had were at the Keag. Of course, I've never bought a lobster roll anywhere else, haven't had to.
Lately I've gotten hooked on the Keag cheeseburgers, and it also has a pretty awesome breakfast - with eggs, hash, toast and coffee for under five bucks.
Another aspect I like about the Keag Store is that I've been going there for years. The store was originally opened by my grandmother's brother, one of the many Joseph Baum's on the St. George peninsula. I never knew about the family connection as a kid. All I knew was that the store had penny candy. And, though hard to believe, I actually made less money back then as a kid. My operating budget was merely pennies, unless I found a dime or quarter somewhere. Fortunately, I make slightly more than that now, and even more if a find a dime or a quarter somewhere.

The big thrill over the summer back then was to go to the post office in South Thomaston. Though our cottage is in Owls Head, we're not officially Owls Head peninsula people. It's kind of like we live in West Owls Head or East South Thomaston. The mouth of the Weskeag River empties into our cove. So, rather than go all the way over to the Owls Head Post Office, it was easier to go to South Thomaston. And, best of all, we could go there by boat.
We'd pull up the dock at the South Thomaston public landing, which is basically a parking lot and a boat ramp. I'd be given the responsibility of running up the road to the post office to get the mail. It wasn't a difficult task. I'd walk in and the fine clerk at the post office would either recognize me or know exactly what I needed when I told him our name. They kept a small pile of mail that would be forwarded to us. No need for a post office box back then.
After completing my task at the post office, I'd get down to more serious business - rummaging through the penny candy bins at the Keag. It was a wooden case with sliding glass doors. I'd slide them open and reach in and pick out whatever assortment I wanted.
It didn't compare to the brightly colored and, frankly overwhelming, candy stores I've seen today, but back then, it was the best I could imagine. I'd leave the store with a small brown paper bag with a handful of pennies spent on a good cause. I'd rush back to the boat with mail, candy and a smile.
So, it seemed kind of funny today as I sat at home that this staple of my childhood and life in that area would be reaching me via the Internet. The Keag Store's Facebook page was asking fans about what kinds of sandwiches they'd like to see. They also posted the daily special. Then the menu was posted, making the temptation complete.
I was ready to phone in a takeout order. When I'm in Owls Head, it's a short drive or quick boat ride up the river. From Lewiston, it isn't either.
So, it was a bit inconvenient and torturous to be teased by the Keag's offerings, especially on a growly stomach. But I couldn't help but think about how far life has changed and our world has evolved that the little Keag Store could keep me informed, keep me tempted and keep in touch with me from miles away.
Now I almost wait with anticipation to see what the daily lunch special might be or to see what ideas the locals have for improvements.
My suggestion? Make it so they can send cheeseburgers via the Internet to LA. If they can do that, that'd be great.
Of course, a virtual penny candy store would be pretty neat too.

The Puck Stops Here

I listened to my usual dosage of sports talk radio today - and what the channel guide describes as hip, Emmy-award winning sports television - and there was no talk about hockey.

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

The sport has been the talk of sports news and talking heads for a couple weeks now thanks to the build-up of the Olympic tournament. Now the game of hockey has been put on ice.

It’s gone back to its regularly scheduled programing where most of the free world can ignore it - just like all the people that were cheering on Lindsay Vonn or Bode Miller can forget about the sport of skiing and ignore the World Cup season. At least there are those Ice Capade-like skating shows to keep the real fair-weather fans something to be excited about.

I was actually a little torn about all the hoopla about hockey.

On the one hand, it was nice to see the sport get a little attention. It was also nice to see some good hockey. Olympic hockey is so much faster and more exciting than the muddled down regular season game and a good taste of what is to come when the Stanley Cup playoffs come around - not that any of us will see much of it since the TV coverage is so sparse.

Playoff, or tournament hockey, can be pretty awesome stuff when teams are skating back and forth and the next goal and the winning goal could happen at any moment. It can be on-the-edge-of-your-seat riveting. I have a ton of great hockey memories of watching a nail-biter of a game go into the wee hours of the morning. Some of those marathon games I was covering.

It was also nice to see U. S hockey do so well and give Canada a scare - even though as soon as the U. S. beat Canada the first time, I knew a possible beatdown was to come. Fortunately the U.S. team made a game of it.

To have that going on at the same time we were remembering the 1980 Olympic Gold Medal was quite timely. Even though the nitwits that wanted to compare the U.S. win over Canada as a modern day win over the Soviets needed a two-hander across the knees and maybe a good spear to the balalaika's.

Still, hockey was in the news. People were talking about it. People were watching it. And the game was getting a pretty good showcase and all the puckheads of the world were happy.

Of course, then there was the downside. With any Olympic coverage there is the multitude of bandwagon jumpers that all of a sudden give a puck about a sport they knew nothing about the day before the opening ceremonies and won’t pay attention to after all the torches are extinguished. It’s like all the people that show up at Super Bowl parties and couldn’t name one person on either team. They want to be at the party and want to watch the commercials.

That’s why I can hardly stand the Olympics anymore. It really isn’t about sports now. All the people that live and die with their reality shows suddenly become couch potato sports fan waiting for the next great “up close and personal” Olympic feature to give us some sad story about this or that athlete whose dog died or had bad acne as a middle school kid.

As I waited for the late news to come on one evening, I caught the award ceremony for figure skating. It included the Canadian skater whose mother died during the Olympics. The announcers fell all over themselves to be overly dramatic while production zoomed in close enough to make sure no footage of any tears were missed. It was nauseating at best and exploitative at worst. Yet, I bet the viewers lapped that stuff up.

When I was watching Sunday’s Gold Medal game in a bar, I was surrounded by people who knew nothing about hockey. When the U.S. pulled its goalie in the final minute, one women asked “What happened to the goalie guy?” Another person wondered if they’d have to play the rest of the game without said goalie guy.

Me, I just cringed. People were talking about hockey but it was kind of like people that talk about politics that are equally clueless about the topics at hand. It’s enough to wonder what the forefathers were thinking when they came up with the whole freedom of speech idea.

But now, after a few days of hockey talk, life returns to normal. It’s kind of like when a national event draws the country together and even gets the politicians playing nice. The Republicans act like human beings while the Democrats display some backbone and quit their whining. That only lasts so long and so does the the nation’s attention to hockey.

Now the world can get back to discussing American Idol and Tiger’s private life and leave hockey to the puckheads that truly enjoy the game and knows when and where the goalie guy might be.